A younger mom was coming over the other day to talk about homeschooling. And I couldn’t stop cleaning my house. And wondering at myself.

I’m older, right? I know what I’m doing, don’t I? Aren’t I comfortable with myself? Can’t I be “the expert” to her? Who cares if my house is a little messy? It’s not that bad. Why am I not comfortable giving her a glimpse into my real life? Why am I trying so hard to impress her?

Then it struck me: it was me I was trying to impress. I was seeing my younger self in her, with all of my ideals, judgements and preconceptions. And I wanted to look good and live up to those ideals.

I could see myself in my mind’s eye, a brand new mother. And boy, was I going to be a good one. I was going to be structured, and spiritual, and I was going to teach my kids good habits and good manners. I’d have a consistent routine and regularly and thoroughly take care of all of the housework. My kids would be cheerful workers (all the time!) because I would be such a good example. I…could go on.

Don’t we all start out that way, young and naïve? Shouldn’t we, though? I don’t think that I would change it.

I’m still somewhat idealistic, I admit it. But, I’m also a little more realistic at the same time. I’ve come to realize that my dishes will often be undone. There will always be a basket or two (or three) of dirty laundry somewhere in the house. My house will never really, completely, totally be organized the way that I think I would like it to be. Nor will my life.

But still, there is this young, new mother self within me, eyeing the mess critically, passing judgment and shaking her head in dismay. Why couldn’t I live up to the ideal? I was going to be different, remember?

If I could say one thing back to that young mother right now, it would be this: Relax. It’s not as bad as it might seem. Don’t be afraid to lose yourself in the unknown of motherhood and find the joy that is found there. Just let go.

From my point of view, life is beautiful. I’m not oblivious to the chaos around me, but I’ve discovered a beauty in it that I wouldn’t understand if I weren’t a part of it myself. To an outsider, my life would most often resemble this:

Can you even tell what is going on in that picture? I’m not sure I can! But that’s not what I usually see. When I look up from that book I’m reading, I see this instead:

I’m in a place now where I don’t often notice when the baby has a messy shirt or the toddler has a finger up his nose. It doesn’t make a difference to me if my daughter’s clothes are mismatched, or if my son’s pants have gaping holes in the knees, again. Although I take good care of my children and tend to their needs, these things have just stopped being as big of a deal overall. I notice them when I need to, but they no longer change the way that I see my children. I’ve come to truly learn that appearances don’t really matter. Cliché? Yes. But true. If my child’s messy face affects how I feel about them, my love is conditional only.

I’m still learning to love unconditionally. I’m not perfect at it. But that is my new ideal. I hope my younger self inside me can understand. And that I can stop worrying about whether or not she does. Now that I know she is there watching me, I think I’m going to work on helping her to relax and not act so concerned over what she sees.

Don’t worry so much about the mess, sweetheart. Live the joy.

My two oldest children, Captain and Vi, are only about 19 months apart in age. They are the best of friends, and I have loved it.

One thing in particular that makes it fun is that they tend to hit a lot of milestones together. If one of them is doing or learning a new thing, the other one wants to be in on it too. And, just as I thought they would, they have recently hit a new milestone together: reading.

Captain has been on the verge of reading for a little while now. I could tell he wanted to. But he is a cautious child, and likes to take a good long look before he leaps into the unknown. I was starting to wonder if it would actually be Vi that initiated this time.

One morning several weeks ago, we sat down for personal scripture reading at the beginning of our devotional. I have been taking the first 5-15 minutes (okay, sometimes it’s 2, depending on the morning) to read scriptures and journal about them to help model these habits to my kids. I invite them to use the time to look at the pictures in their scripture story books. This time, though, Captain broke down and started to cry.

“I’m tired of looking at the pictures,” he said in frustration. “I want to be able to read the scriptures by myself.”

We stopped what we were doing, right then and there, and did our very first formal reading lesson. Vi, of course, was in on it, too, as I had expected. What I didn’t expect, however, (although perhaps I should have), was how differently they each approached reading! It was so interesting to watch them as they took turns reading on each page.

Captain has a very good memory and has always enjoyed memorizing things. He memorizes things easily just by hearing me recite through them a few times – more than once he has surprised me by reciting an entire poem, song, or scripture that I’ve never heard him say before. He doesn’t want to say the scripture or whatever it is over and over in general, though. He wants to just listen to me recite it, and he’ll pick it up that way. Interestingly enough, he is approaching reading the same way. He is not particularly interested in sounding the words out phonetically. Instead, he prefers for me to just tell him what the word is, and then he can try to remember it for next time. In general, he remembers quite well. Also, he is very literary and is very good at guessing what the next word is by the context of what we are reading.

Vi has a completely different approach. She loves to sound words out! Even if she already knows what the word is, she likes to pretend that she is sounding it out. I’m amazed at how well she does; that method really works well for her. She really enjoys having the tools to figure out how to say the words by herself.

Another interesting thing is that Captain, from the time he was small, was always begging to be read to. All the time. Every book. Several times a day he brings me books, asking for me to read to him. (And he asks his dad. And anyone else he can pin to the couch for a few minutes.) My younger son, Orator, is the same way. Vi, on the other hand, loves to be read to, but often would rather sit and look at the book herself. I remember that even as a toddler, I would often find her looking at books alone, but when I would offer to read them to her, it was as likely as not that she would actually turn me down!

This difference has meant that Captain has been taking learning how to read at a pretty easy pace. He’s not in too big of a hurry because, hey, he’d just as soon have me read to him most of the time anyway! Which is fine. He’s catching on. And I’m sure that once he is reading independently he will be very happy to be able to enjoy books by himself even when I’m to busy to read to him.

Vi, on the other hand, is still pretty fired up about reading. She checked out a Dick and Jane book from the library the other day, and has been working her way through it, bringing it to me when she wants help with a word (she wants to read it by herself as much as possible). She’s thrilled with the thought of actually being able to read books all day on her own. She can’t wait. (Neither can I!)

Math has been the same. Captain wants concepts to be fully explained, and then he can do the work, no sweat. Vi would rather try her hand at figuring it out herself.

Can I just say again that I love homeschooling? What fun to be able to sit down with my two oldest kids and be able to help them to learn how to read, all at the same time, and be able to cater to their pace and their learning style. I’m so excited about this new phase!

It was the beginning of June, right after dinner on a Friday evening. My husband asked me what we should do for fun that night—something relaxing, maybe, like watch a movie . . . ?

I thought for a moment. The older kids had already run outside to play, and it was so nice and warm out, and the sunshine was beautiful. It seemed a crime to call the kids in to the house to watch a movie. Perhaps we should think of something to do out of doors this summer that would keep us outside more in the evening.

As a result of this musing, we devised a plan. Reading a book together in the evenings, but with rules to keep it special:

Rule #1, All of us had to be there together (no reading without Daddy when he was at orchestra, etc.).

Rule #2, It had to be evening.

Rule #3, We had to read outside.

The first book that we picked out was Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls. We had the old copy that my mother-in-law had read to her kids when they were little.

It was a success! Right away the kids started looking forward to reading together outside every evening that we could. They would rush through any evening chores or cleanup that we asked of them. One evening, Captain even jumped right up after finishing his dinner, then went over and filled up the sinks and started doing the dishes himself! Hurrah!

The book was a definite hit. The kids loved Summer of the Monkeys—all of us did. The kids would sit on the swings of our backyard set, or lounge on the blanket I had spread on the grass, and listen, fully enthralled. Captain was the most involved in the story, and we all got a big kick out of his expressions when we would reach a twist in the story line.

Alice in Wonderland was the next book we read. The kids weren’t quite as involved in that one, but it was fun, and it was short. We read this one while waiting for or watching fireworks outdoors more than once.

After that came Treasure Island. This, too, we enjoyed. However, half way through the book it got too chilly to read outside all the time, so we changed the rules with the season. Now we could read indoors, sitting around our fireplace together. We switched off for a week or two, reading sometimes indoors and sometimes out as we straddled the seasons. But we’ve had snow on the ground for three days now and I’m pretty certain now that we’ll stay in.

Last Friday evening we stayed up late finishing the last few chapters of Treasure Island. I can’t wait for our next book. We’ve had so much fun reading while the TV stayed on the rolling cart in the closet.

What are your favorite ways to read as a family?

There are as many unique and complex reasons to homeschool, I suppose, as there are parents doing it.

I love homeschooling. It is a family lifestyle that I have just fallen in love with deeply and endlessly both when I was young, and even more so since I’ve been going that route with my own children. It would probably take me a week to tell you about all of the reasons that I love it, but this is one that I have been pondering about the last few days.

Rainbow Moments.

When a rainbow appears, you didn’t know about it far in advance. You can’t schedule it on the calendar. Those grand, lovely, real rainbows way up in the sky are out of our control. They are unplanned, fleeting, and breathtaking.

It is like that in our families, too. Home is the perfect environment for rainbows. A child’s curiosity is sparked and you run with it. The Spirit whispers something to your hearts, and you teach with it. Large, serious eyes come to you with a question, and you help to answer it. These moments are unplanned, breathtaking, and easy to miss.

The other day, the kids and I were doing our devotional together and something—I couldn’t even tell you what, now—sparked a powerful spiritual conversation. Suddenly I was sharing something very close to my heart, and my children were listening intently, and then I was turning to Doctrine and Covenants 82:3 and teaching them that:

“…Of him unto whom much is given much is required…”

We talked about how very much we have been blessed with, and how the Lord asks us to share those blessings with others, because He loves His other children just as much as He loves us. How we need to do our very best to follow the Lord’s guidance so that we might reach our full potential and use it for His work and glory.

I can’t remember now exactly what I said, or how they responded, or any other particulars. But I do know that the Holy Spirit was with us, teaching me as much as it was directly teaching my children.

It brings to mind a scripture, Isaiah 54:13:

“And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”

There we were, sitting together, and suddenly there burst upon us a rainbow. We would have missed this particular one if Captain and Vi had been in public school. We would have missed it if we hadn’t been taking the time to read the scriptures together. I don’t need to rush my kids around in order to help them get a good education. Because Home is the perfect environment for rainbows. And having my children taught by the Lord is certainly my primary goal for their education.

Home school is not the only way that rainbows can shine. I hope we all take the chance to spend precious time with our children. But I think when you are homeschooling, you catch them more often than if you were away more.

When did you last see a rainbow?

“Don’t you just love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies.”

Tom Hanks (in You’ve Got Mail) is on to something here. I’ve never seen New York during autumn, or any other season, but I just take this as proof that there is a universal “something in the air” this time of the year. Just breeeeeathe in that air, will ya? That says school time.

I was homeschooled. I am the oldest of quite a few children, and my mother has homeschooled every one of us—rain or shine, sleet or hail. (Luckily, we rarely had to venture out in any unpleasant weather as we did the majority of our homeschooling at home. Go figure. ) Schooling, for us, was a way of life rather than a seasonal necessity, so we didn’t really take the summer off. Perhaps we eased up a bit on the tougher subjects, and did more Science and P.E. in the great outdoors. But for the most part the regular flow of life carried on.

Summer afforded us just enough of a break, though, that by the time the local schools were airing out and preparing for a new year, we were ready to jump back in with both feet and recommit to all those things we were excited to learn. I’ve heard of lots of fun things that homeschooling families do to celebrate “back to school” like a special breakfast, field trip, etc., but we never really did anything like that. We did, however, always take advantage of the Back to School sales.

As a youth I had somewhat of an obsession with school supplies. I loved them. I would spend babysitting money on new pencils, pens, notebooks, and folders. Give me a new binder with tabs and paper and I was in heaven. I loved to write, and doodle, and write, and plan, and make lists. I finished a handful of stories that I wrote while I was young and started dozens that never survived past the first page (sometimes they didn’t even make it past the title).

The funny thing is that I had no idea until I was much older that “Back to School shopping” for most kids had more to do with clothing than with school supplies. Tehehee. Boy, was I socially backwards. How silly of me to think that a notebook was more relevant to school than Nike.

Be that as it may, I’m happy to say that I seem to have passed on my special brand of “Back to Homeschool” supply giddiness. We took the kids on a shopping trip two or three weeks ago, and when we got them each new art books and notebooks, they couldn’t have been happier. Even the two-year-old was dancing down the aisles with his specially picked notebook covered in green (his favorite color).

There is definitely something in the air in late August, and early September. Is it really the shifting of the seasons we sense, the drop in temperature? Is it just feeling a readiness for cooler days ahead because we’re tired of summer’s pace? Who knows. But almost every year there’s a morning that I wake up, and there it is. Something in me thrills to the new season and I know this is it. I’m excited, I’m ready, and I announce at breakfast: “Okay kids, today we’re starting school again!”